Friday, August 2, 2013


I will.
I'm opening my heart, my mind and my spirit. I know that when September arrives, when August writes her epilogue, I will be different. I can direct. I cannot control.
August has always been like this. She changes things up.

1973. There was a canal bank with trees and soft grass. A sanctuary. I'll go there again someday.
1975. Jeff was born. The universe shifted and he was mine.
1976. A fragile little family moved to Boise. I was so scared.
1978. I took my baby boy to Moscow, ID. Even scarier. We set up house.
1980. Elko, NV. Made a baby girl, I had no idea.
1984. Bought a house in Nampa, ID. Marilyn and Stephanie, my friends.
1993. Jeff left my nest. I wasn't ready.
1997. I gained a daughter-in-law. Jeff married Amelia.
1999. Gabriel was born. So was a GrammyCat. Who are these children coming down?
2008. Alexandra Jade was baptized.

I will be different somehow. Changing as I should, accepting where I must. There are mothers to be born, babies to guide in, a grand daughter to direct, a son and daughters to gather in tight, decisions to face and so much love to bless it all.
It feels like jumping off a really high diving board, free falling almost. I'll stay open. I'll trust.
I will.