Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Day 2 Moving slowly

I think we've made the transition to slow time.  I don't even have a watch.  Mine broke at the airport.  So I'm in my own time zone. Sleep, wake, whenever.

I finished my first book, La Partera. It's the bio of a Mexican midwife, Jesusita Aragon.  It left me full of admiration for her but a lot discouraged about many things.  Does hard work matter? I'll be thinking about her life for awhile
The sun left a pink glow on me today.  There are boogie boards here and I just don't want to stop paddling around in this beautiful sea glass blue green water.

I slow cooked a yummy dinner, started catch-up on many emails and might even start thinking about my NARM  recertification which is up soon. I'm receiving updates from my birth peeps; they are taking care of business.  That allpws me to sink into a deep state of vacation peace.

Tomorrow is Halloween.  We signed up for a 3 hour tour (not kidding) of a lagoon. So Gilligan-ish.  Guess I'll dress up as MaryAnn.

Oh, and how about that moon last night! I'm going to put on my favorite black jammies, load up some dreamy Beatles music, sit outside and look at it again.


best ever

there was a little beach. i think it was public but no one else was there. then some black labs ran by.  we heard the owner calling. "shasta! sierra!" hmmm. . .wonder where he was from! i went in up to my waist.  the water was almost warm. i dunked under a couple of times then back to shore. sun, sand and so much happy.  i sipped my jar of pomegranate juice and 7. i tasted heaven.

Day 1 slow cooking

When I was a little school girl, my family lived in Willard, Utah. It was a dreamy neighborhood for a kid. We played all of the outdoor games, Hide 'N Seek, Kick the Can and baseball using orchard trees as bases, Our street sloped down from the mountain.  It was great for sledding in the winter and racing hot rods (that's what the older boys called their creations) in the summer. My most favorite thing of all was playing house with my BFF, Laura.  There was an old chicken coop on her family's property. It had a real door and a couple of windows.  We made shelves and furnished the place with all kinds of improvisations. Stocking the kitchen shelf with pieces of this and that, making do, delightful!
Renting a house for an extended stay like this, flashes me back to that imaginary time of kid bliss. It's the kitchen. It comes empty.  No food. It calls for improvisation, making do.
We made a quick stop at a Mexican grocery store on the way in. We had 5 minutes, no, make that 3 to grab some basics for dinner and breakfast. Funny what one grabs under that kind of stress!.
First up, explore the kitchen. Usually these rentals have an eclectic stash of spices left behind from previous guests.Well, no orphaned spices this time. Nada. No salt, pepper, sugar, chili powder, nothing. There's a small room like a pantry, the "platos" room says the hostess. That's all that's in there, assorted plates, cups, pans and some utensils. Sooo I pretended up a dinner. It was fun. Then came breakfast. Creating from fresh, whole foods grabbed in a hurry was fun.
This place is no chicken coop but the improv factor takes me back.
Today I studied a stack of magazines searching for recipes. With unhurried time, I chose some and went grocery shopping.  I loved trying to translate English recipes into Spanish ingredients.  I really love unhurried time and the thought of cooking for pleasure.
Tonight I am cooking Chicken Corn Chowder. There will be a few substitutions and no requisite dutch oven. Oh, well. Just found out that the Eco-Tent village down the beach serves meals if necessary.
Tomorrow morning, Whole Wheat Plum Berry Tarts. Uh oh. It calls for a baking sheet and parchment paper. I didn't notice either of those things in LePlatos room. There is an 8X8 cake pan. We'll see. . .

Sunday, October 28, 2012


After a very long but uneventful day of airports, we are safe and sound on Mexican ground. Its fortunate that I've had a long day before getting to a computer.  I needed it to process my annoyance with air travel. Liquids or gels, weight limits, lines, back pack killing my shoulders, No, there's nothing in my left pocket, OK, body pat down then,uh-oh, something suspicious in the back pack, pulled out of line because of Tom's toothpaste, trying to sleep on my tray table, oops, guy in front just laid his seatback in my lap, middle seat, stranger on left crunching ice AND spilling his body into my space, on and on. . . I was the biggest whining grouch of a human ever!
I much prefer Road Trips. Music up loud, stay awhile or keep on going, the only folks in your space are of your choosing, gallons of liquid and dozens of books. So that's how I cast my travel vote.
That said, today was not about the journey; it was all about destination.  We are south of Tulum in Sian Kaan, Casa Houston. I can hear the ocean, see the moon AND watch the Giants-Tigers game all at the same time.We arrived after dark so I haven't seen the beach yet. I can't wait for morning to see what's up for mermaid me.  AND there's a full moon tomorrow night!  Bliss ahead.
I haven't figured out iPhone ability yet. Not sure if I can Instagram or text. For now its email to communicate and I'll be blogging.
I'm gonna slip into my black and orange G shirt and call it a day. A long day.
Goodnight Love s.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Charlie Grey

 Baby boy is turning 2! How can that be.  Really!  I was just there in my Pasco nest, waiting, trusting and waiting some more. Very early, on a rainy morning he came to meet us. A beautiful boy with many names. Wild Charlie, Charlie Fox . . .and finally Charlie Grey. He made it a trinity of Stoyan bros. My 10th grandchild, led in by a full moon and welcomed into a peace filled, loving home with his mama, his papa, Amelia and me. Perfect. He is my baby hippie, a wanderer. Much love!
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Monday, October 22, 2012


Georgia O'Keeffe, 1918Alfred Stieglitz
I have a fascination with Miss O'Keeffe.  Even the way her last name has 2 e's and 2 f's is cool. She chose her home, Abiquiu, New Mexico, near Taos.I like that, too. She married Alfred. He loved New York and other women. I think she was OK with that in the end. He found her stunning and this picture is one of his photographs. Her eyes. I see knowing there and a little pain and many secrets. She was childless though I think she miscarried once.  Heartbreak. She wanted a baby of her own. I don't love her art so much, though I like a few things, especially her early stuff. What I do love is her mind. Her independence. Her relationships. Her clothes. She marched to her own drummer even as a barefoot little girl.  She loved the night sky. She was angular and passionate at the same time. Her heart was gentle and true to self her only boundary. I envy that. Did she sleep at night or create under the moonlight? I wonder. I would love to drink tea with her and just watch her move. She might find me too swirled up in things that don't matter so much. I could learn simplicity from her. I think our eyes match. Same tribe perhaps?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

birth peeps

MCU Graduation Gala
October 2012

These are the women that carry me, dream with me and work so hard on their path to becoming midwives of excellence.
Emily, Liz and Baby Elliott, Sara, Cathy, Melanie, Katye, Julia, Cheryl and Laurisa
Trust the path. You've been called. The errand of angels is yours.
I love you all so much. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Any songs about Wednesdays?

Sometimes, like today, I'd like to try normal on.  I know it wouldn't fit but I like to think about it.  Like having a circadian rhythm. A daily routine. Meals planned.  Knowing who sleeps under my roof and where each night. Respecting the rules.
I'm responsible for Presley this school year. After a long, sleepless night, we got up with 15 minutes  til the tardy bell.  I tried.  She cried. The angel on my shoulder whispered, "What the heck?"  Well, a little stronger version of that sentiment.  Anyway. Since we're gonna be tardy, does it matter how tardy?  Let's just breathe some real deep peace and consider what matters most. Soooo, I filled a deep bathtub with warm bubbly water worthy of my baby mermaid.  School clothes off, merbaby in. When she was ready, I washed her hair followed by 6 slow cups of clean rinse water.  That's how old she is and seems to be a soothing number. I chose two soft, pink towels and when she was ready I cradled her in them and carried her long legged body to my bed.  Merbaby request.  The transition from warm water to cold air is always a trip. What would you like for breakfast little princess?  French toast.  With powder sugar or maple syrup? Both. I'll cook if you'll comb out your own hair.  Deal.  She watched Ninja Turtles with Jackie Boy while I set a pretty colorful table complete with the coolest fork/knife/spoon all-in-ones I just bought (made in Sweden of course). Dressed, fed and untangled, we did the homework. Everyday the same. Two pages of math equations on a green sheet of paper.  I want to gag but I'm supposed to be a model, I remember. Finished. Backpack ready. Uh, Grammy, it's my friends birthday today and I need to take her something. Sure. Out with some orange cardstock for a season appropriate birthday card. Go.  I only helped with a correction to her phonetic attempt to spell Sidney. Happy, we got in the car.  I walked her shiny, smiley self to the office.  Almost 2 hours tardy.  I told the lady Pres was a little sick this morning.  Then I whispered, "Actually, it's a little first loose tooth trauma".  Not a lie. She took her little paper pass and marched to class.  I cried a little on the way to my car.  No one understands what matters most.  Just wait.  Everything in it's time.  A long night and a rough morning can be fixed. She' only 6 and her life needs to be soothed. I can do that.  I'm not normal.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

catching up, in a nutshell

I've talked about this before, how I randomly give a verb to each month at the beginning of the year. As last year ended, Gina joined in my ritual.  We were happily sniffing essential oils in her kitchen as we prepped for the Brandi Carlile concert.  Out came the 2012 planners and our months were named!
I love looking back. It isn't really a self fulfilling thing since I try not to look ahead, only back. Here's what happened.

May - Cultivate
As I continued to dream of the mission Briana and I shared for international midwifery, The Briana Project was born. With the help of Shona, Zendina, Jodie, Julia and so many others, we definitely cultivated an expedition, Senegal 2012.
I guess Cultivate fits for my relationship with Lovely Sara Vranes. I woke up in the middle of the night and knew with clarity that she would be a great midwife and the sooner the better. When I saw her the next morning I had to tell her, couldn't wait.  It's like we saw each other soul to soul and she responded, "I know." We both know. This is the beginning of something important, something right.
June - Open
"Let the love in, so much love." I had to open to the many people that wanted to grow The Briana Project. I couldn't keep it to myself. There were sewing parties, kit organizing parties, fund-raising efforts, details to hammer out and as I opened my heart, love flowed in.
July - Flow
With 500 various kits tightly packed in 6 duffel bags, we were off to Senegal. A simple mission statement and a skeleton of a plan was what we had.  The rest was truly "on a wing and a prayer."  We had no choice but to flow.  Sometimes that meant upstream.  It is very hard, nearly impossible to flow upstream. Something invisible surely pulled us. In the end, our mission was accomplished.
August - Tighten
I was in over my head. Again, I woke in the middle of the night and her name came to me: Emily Gerber.  Call her.  She will help you. Pearl Midwifery gained an office manager.  My chaos didn't scare her. Also, enter Magical Melanie, student midwife from Wyoming. She moved into my house in August and organized my world.  Dishes, laundry, meals, birth supplies, paint, upholstery, little house ideas, prayers, planning and multi-tasking. From the first full moon on August 2nd to the full Blue moon on Aug 31, my life tightened up in a big way. I'm on top for the most part.  Feels good.
September - Shed
Oh, September, how I love you.
I did shed so much unnecessary stuff. Bags full went to the trash. With a tighter ship, it was easy to organize and let go. 
I also shed restrictions and strings to go after my loves.
M Street got a backyard.
I said "YES" to Li'l Red and we took a road trip.
Shedding is the greatest joy ever. It allowed me to dive in, swim deep, taste and touch the things that matter so much. The month ended in Monterey with hundreds of midwives at MANA Conference.
Then the wonderful experience of driving home in solitude under a full moon and starlit sky with much to savor and new dreams to create.
I will never forget you September.
October - Sing!
This month started out so beautifully, joyful and fresh. I had to break my rule and look at its word early on.  SING.  That is perfect. I have much to rejoice about. Going into autumn, there are so many memories already packed into this year. Looking forward, ahhh, much yet to celebrate.  My heart sings so many songs. 

That's the nutshell version. More to come. For now, I want to enjoy stillness a bit longer. If I could find My Walden Pond, well, I would really like that. A few days with me. To turn down the noise.  To remember.  To commune.  To dream. To promise.  To make sure. To breathe peace. To breathe love. Deeply.

Back to the blog

I've been pinning, racking up FB friends, a little tweet now and then and oh yeah, instagramming. With all that food for my instant grat self, I still miss my blog so much. Maybe I'll even fix the Nikon and make it real pretty. So here I go, diving back in.