Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Approaching Crone-hood

I'm blogging again.  Seems I've entered an introspective, deeply humble phase. As my thoughts find words, I miss this outlet.  Seriously.  I need a place to release and untangle the stuff that swims in my brain and heart or else.
Firstly, I am in love.  With so many people and so many places and the RareWolf dog of mine called "Georgie."
Secondly, I swing from feeling powerful and content with my parts like family, work and all, to feeling deeply inadequate and helpless. What does that mean? 
I cry easily and laugh deeply. 
I'm in a vulnerable place most of the time and an invincible place some of the time.
I wonder about my character when the best I can come up with for New Year's intentions is to shave my legs more often and grocery shop with a list. 
I miss the people of my heart that I can't see.  I long to hold them and hear them. So much that I feel my heart being squeezed. So hard that I can barely breathe. 
I'm sure that if I could just see Tracy Chapman and Eddie Vedder shows that I would want for nothing else, ever.
Then there's this terrible truth starting to seep in: I can't feed all of the hungry ones. Can't assure every mama that her babe will be gently welcomed. That panics me. If not me, then who? 
And then I come across this picture. Pretty little thing.  Faelin. Her family floated into my life and we all made a big difference to each other.  For good. For peace. I remember the ripple effect and realize that is what I can do.  Spark a bit of loving  joy and sit back.
I'll pray my life out loud. Thanking and asking.


Lindsay said...

Keep writing your words. I love them.
And your plaid pants, too.

Unknown said...

Yes, keep writing. -steen