the mama and the papa

I thought the hard part would be letting her go. I had no idea. Yes, I did have a giant lump in my throat when Steen and Tyson sang during the wedding -

Now I see a family where there once was none

Yeah, we've just begun

Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun

A few hours after the hospital wedding, she came home to change clothes. We picked Amy up at the airport, got some food and took her back to the hospital. We dropped her off at the door and she walked away with a little bag. Another giant lump in my throat. She was weary. For two days she had worried. Worried about her sweetheart. All of a sudden she became the nurturer in a big way, riding in an ambulance, watching him go through procedures, holding him tight, running out in the hall to get help. Worried about her family and the preparations that had to come to a screeching halt. She cried and apologized. We assured her that his health, his very life was by far the most important part.
She spent her honeymoon on a hospital couch bed, waking every hour to beeping machines and night nurses. Early in the morning she called. Did we miss her? DID WE MISS HER! Oh, yes we did. We picked her up that afternoon and fed her. I felt some relief. She was still my baby and I could still take care of her.

I think we all figured he'd be home in a couple of days - home to his new bride and the beginning of their life together. He's still not home. Tonight marks 2 weeks of this baffling experience. Sometimes she sleeps at the hospital. Sometime exhaustion wins and she sleeps here. She finished boxing up her childhood. She's set up the room that she hopes he will soon come home to. She's learning a new vocabulary. Lipids and amylase. She watches enzyme levels and monitors his breathing as he sleeps. Did I say letting her go was the hard part? Well, it's nothing compared to the waves that sneak up on me now. I can't fix this for my baby. She is ready to be a wife. I am ready to enjoy this season as they become the mama and the papa. I promise I will be brave and happy. Just let him heal and come home.

The helpless feelings have been hard for everyone. Today we chose to be proactive. If he can have liquids by mouth then we will bring in good stuff. No more orange colored Jello, high fructose corn syrup juices or msg loaded beef boullion. We loaded up at Whole Foods. Teas, homeopathics, probiotics and antioxidants. She will update her blog daily and share reply posts with him. We're organizing a family day of prayer and fasting for this Sunday. To everyone within the reach of this blog's ripples: Please join us in prayer and support as his doctors try to figure out why his digestive system shut down, his pancreas inflammed and his esophagus tore. If love can heal him, well, we're giving it all we've got. We have grown to love him and welcome him as one of our own.

It really seems like yesterday that we, too, were 18 years old and newly married. We had no idea how we were going to survive. It was more than our determination that carried us. It was the quiet, loving support of family and we are more than ready to pay it forward.

It used to be our song. . .

And in the morning when I rise

Bring a tear of joy to my eyes

And tell me everything's gonna be alright

To Kody and Jade ~

I don't know exactly how or when, but you will be together and on your way soon. You are going to be just fine.

We love you.

Mama and Papa