Tuesday, October 16, 2012

catching up, in a nutshell

I've talked about this before, how I randomly give a verb to each month at the beginning of the year. As last year ended, Gina joined in my ritual.  We were happily sniffing essential oils in her kitchen as we prepped for the Brandi Carlile concert.  Out came the 2012 planners and our months were named!
I love looking back. It isn't really a self fulfilling thing since I try not to look ahead, only back. Here's what happened.

May - Cultivate
As I continued to dream of the mission Briana and I shared for international midwifery, The Briana Project was born. With the help of Shona, Zendina, Jodie, Julia and so many others, we definitely cultivated an expedition, Senegal 2012.
I guess Cultivate fits for my relationship with Lovely Sara Vranes. I woke up in the middle of the night and knew with clarity that she would be a great midwife and the sooner the better. When I saw her the next morning I had to tell her, couldn't wait.  It's like we saw each other soul to soul and she responded, "I know." We both know. This is the beginning of something important, something right.
June - Open
"Let the love in, so much love." I had to open to the many people that wanted to grow The Briana Project. I couldn't keep it to myself. There were sewing parties, kit organizing parties, fund-raising efforts, details to hammer out and as I opened my heart, love flowed in.
July - Flow
With 500 various kits tightly packed in 6 duffel bags, we were off to Senegal. A simple mission statement and a skeleton of a plan was what we had.  The rest was truly "on a wing and a prayer."  We had no choice but to flow.  Sometimes that meant upstream.  It is very hard, nearly impossible to flow upstream. Something invisible surely pulled us. In the end, our mission was accomplished.
August - Tighten
I was in over my head. Again, I woke in the middle of the night and her name came to me: Emily Gerber.  Call her.  She will help you. Pearl Midwifery gained an office manager.  My chaos didn't scare her. Also, enter Magical Melanie, student midwife from Wyoming. She moved into my house in August and organized my world.  Dishes, laundry, meals, birth supplies, paint, upholstery, little house ideas, prayers, planning and multi-tasking. From the first full moon on August 2nd to the full Blue moon on Aug 31, my life tightened up in a big way. I'm on top for the most part.  Feels good.
September - Shed
Oh, September, how I love you.
I did shed so much unnecessary stuff. Bags full went to the trash. With a tighter ship, it was easy to organize and let go. 
I also shed restrictions and strings to go after my loves.
M Street got a backyard.
I said "YES" to Li'l Red and we took a road trip.
Shedding is the greatest joy ever. It allowed me to dive in, swim deep, taste and touch the things that matter so much. The month ended in Monterey with hundreds of midwives at MANA Conference.
Then the wonderful experience of driving home in solitude under a full moon and starlit sky with much to savor and new dreams to create.
I will never forget you September.
October - Sing!
This month started out so beautifully, joyful and fresh. I had to break my rule and look at its word early on.  SING.  That is perfect. I have much to rejoice about. Going into autumn, there are so many memories already packed into this year. Looking forward, ahhh, much yet to celebrate.  My heart sings so many songs. 

That's the nutshell version. More to come. For now, I want to enjoy stillness a bit longer. If I could find My Walden Pond, well, I would really like that. A few days with me. To turn down the noise.  To remember.  To commune.  To dream. To promise.  To make sure. To breathe peace. To breathe love. Deeply.