Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Great swirls of light

Not in entire forgetfulness
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.
I've been tethered to home since mid-May. This is unusual for me. I thrive on adventures; spontaneous trips to anywhere. There's only one thing that can keep me in the county, especially during the summer - due dates or in midwife-speak, EDBs. Estimated Date of Birth is just that, an estimation. For each mom there is a 5 week range of normal. There is no way of knowing when you can escape for a few days or not. Summer "on call" has been my lifestyle and it's not over yet.
I remember when this stretch started. I took a quick trip to Washington in early May. When I got home, Chuck and I discussed summer plans. I took a deep breath and reminded him that I had to stay close to home, within cell phone range for the next 4 months.
"Can we go to Pasco for Memorial Day?" he asked. NO.
"Can we go somewhere for the 4th of July?" NO.
"Can you go to Seattle with me in mid-July?" NO.
"Can we go camping?" NO.
Although midwife life has it's challenges, being married to a midwife is far worse. I get to witness the joy of mamas, papas, babies and families being born. There are times when I am aware of angels hovering near sending off a new life and angels hovering near to help receive that fresh spirit. There is sacred stillness in every birth space, whether it is during the middle of the night or during the middle of the day. This sweet baby boy was born in a house on a hot afternoon in the middle of the busy city. I wonder if the folks walking by could see the great swirls of light that surely surrounded us. Present in the small living room where he was born were his parents, his big brother, yet a toddler, his grandmother, his 3 aunts and 2 midwives. It was an honor to be a part of that circle and everyone present expressed over and over how peaceful yet powerful this birth experience was.
There was a small sliver of time right after this baby was born before he took his first earthly breath. It was like time standing still, like I was holding heaven for just an instant. His eyes were open as if he were communicating, "I have so much to tell you. Help me let go."
I call it "tween" time. It's beyond magical when it happens. Soon the baby sputtered, gasped, shifted his gaze to his mama and started to cry. It's a blessing to witness every time, new life and the hope that each life brings to this planet. I know that and give thanks every time.
At this birth there was something extra. I'm not sure I can describe it. It's as if every part of me was finely tuned in to the miracle. My senses were sharp, my mind was clear and the day was perfect; filled with an abundance of love and peace. I was open to the rich lessons this birth had to teach me about life, my work and the relationships I cherish.
Just hours old, as I did the newborn exam, this little one really connected with me. It was a spirit to spirit thing. A few days later when I visited, I held his head in my hands and he gazed into my eyes. It was an intensely spirit filled connection, again, and I wanted to cry.
I looked forward to my postpartum visit today. Once again, he filled me with an amazing affirmation that heaven is real and still lingering close around him.
I would not trade my summer experiences thus far for any adventure to anywhere. I've witnessed the trailing clouds that these babes bring.
I love my calling. I am blessed. Thank you baby boy for trusting me with your secrets.


Sycamore Girl said...

Thank you for doing what you do and being willing to sacrifice so much for the sake of others. What a tremendous calling you have! I so look forward to having you present at my next birth...whenever that is...
Much love to you!

Sarah said...

Beasutiful words. I could feel a bit of what you were talking about just reading that. It IS such a spiritual thing and I do envy midwives that get to experience that so often. Thank you for your love and passion for birth.

lovely lindsay said...

birth is magic.
love this, sweet feeeeef.
love, lin

auntgigi said...

Beautiful. I hope I can attend a birth with you someday. I would love to observe you in your peaceful action. You look like a beauty in the pic, and I love how angel baby is looking at you. He knows you.

Yamile said...

What a lovely post. I feel so blessed you were with me when my son, now almost 5 years-old, was born.
Thanks for the love and commitment you have for your calling!

diane said...


Mama's Place said...

Diane took the words right out of my mouth...BEAUTIFUL!!

Ricki said...

We just welcomed Vivian to earth last week - she's perfect. Thank you for being "Our Cathy" with Levi - and always. We love you.

naturaljoy said...

cool, I don't know why I haven't been checking this