Punta Laguna

                                                              The day of adventure

We started with a Mayan shaman, Serapio. This is his villge.  He performed a cermony, praying for our safety. We drank holy fermented something from a communal bowl and then he smudged us with smoke from burning copal resin.It was emotional for me.  I felt the purity of his Mayan ancestry and gratitude that the rituals and traditions have survived.

That's me JungleCat! I was a little bit scared. This is real Mayan jungle, not the theme park like Xplor. I'm holding the brake in my right hand. Its a stick with a notch carved out to hang on the cable. 

Feet up, a big push from guide/friend Hugo and off I went.

 



Isla Mujeres

Drove to Cancun then ferried over to this little bit of an island.  The hippie flavor here is different than in Tulum.  I liked it. These cafe restroom doors amused me.

battered mermaid

I was just coasting on my little board, moving towards the shore in waist deep water. A wave was building behind me so I tucked my head and held on tight for the ride. I'd been doing it all morning. Somehow this one lifted my board from the back and knocked me face first to the bottom. Hard.  I felt my neck bend sideways. It hurt. I got on my feet, went after my board and marched to my spot on the sand. It really, really hurt my feelings most. I cried like a big baby and called The Sea a very bad name! She is my one solace on this earth. When midwife needs to be mermaid I come to her.  Today she kicked my buns without apology.  Now what?

Day of Goodness

Sunrise woke me. Every time I have to jump out of bed and snap a picture. Then back to bed until I feel like really waking up.
I had an old Donovan song or three in my head, songs about the sea. Lucky for me Internet was in a good mood and I watched Donovan YouTubes until I got hungry.
I love cooking in this sparse Mexican kitchen.
Next, I read some Steinbeck, walked along the beach for an hour, ate again then another short walk to the Cesiak Center for a CocaLight. A quick dip in the ocean on the way back to la casa and more Steinbeck.
A little nap or two and this all adds up to goodness. Crazy, pure goodness.

new word: pibil

We requested that our housekeeper, Gloria, cook her specialty for dinner. Pollo Pibil.  Chicken cooked in banana leaves. She cooked in our house and I requested her children to come.  I had a delightful time with them.  We taught each other some English/Spanish and I shared what pictures I had of my babies at home. They were very excited to learn about iPads and laughed just like Pres and Carson when they played games.  The meal was incredible! Gloria worked some magic in this little, sparsely equipped cocina. The rest of the meal included black beans, lime chicken soup and tortillas.

Enrique y Blanca

sea leveled

   

All day and all night, the sounds of the sea, the wind and soaring gulls are my music.  
I love it so much. 
I love how firm, damp sand feels under my feet as I walk and walk.
I love the taste of salty water when unexpected waves knock me over. 
I love to watch the pelicans dive for lunch.  
I breathe deep. The ocean scent is harmony and energy. Breathing in peace. Breathing out conflict.
          
           Casa Houston
           Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico
           04 Nov 2013 
 

  

As still as can be

I am in a still place and want to stay for awhile. 
There is a long stretch of dirt road to this house. It wasn't bad last year but recent storms have made it treacherous. Wildly bumpy, sinkholes and deep pools of water for miles. Since we arrived there have been on and off storms, rain and wind. Two good reasons to just be, right here. 
I have no sense of time.  When it gets dark, I feel sleepy.  When the sun rises, light through the linen curtains wakes me. When I feel hungry, I cook. I predict that we will be out of food by Wednesday and will have to get dressed and venture into town. I may be ready to start filling this cleansed, emptied vessel by then. For now, I am embracing stillness, gratefully, patiently.

  

I Will Take Care of You

This is a page from The Book of Qualities, a gift from Jeff. Every time I read from it, I love it more and am blown away by the author's gift. If ever words were art, this work by J. Ruth Gendler is.

As I begin a transition, I love this advice to look to the butterflies. 

". . . make a chrysalis for the changing human heart."

Getting started

There is an advantage to returning to the same beach, same house. No time is wasted on getting oriented. We knew just where to stop for groceries and what to get.  I knew just what to pack. Every little linen thing I own from Homefrocks in Santa Fe is hanging orderly in my Tulum space. I feel orderly. Sometimes that is just what is needed.  

Simple. Minimal. Order.

 

 Choosing what books to bring was not so easy. I need to hold real books, turn real pages, dog ear real corners. No Kindle for me. That can add up to a very heavy suitcase.  I chose three plus a cookbook, (Recipes from Sanibel bought in a used book store in AZ!).  I bought a couple more in the SLC airport. Who can resist a Graham Nash tells all? Well, now that I am breathing peace and settled in, first up is this Steinbeck treasure. Thank you dear Gina for finding this for me.  I read this book 30 years ago.  When Jeff was in school and Lindsay was napping, I would lay out in the backyard Elko sun and read for pleasure.  My scenery is different now but I'm sure this will delight me all over again.

ex.haust.ion

I looked up the word origin.  Exhaust means to drain or draw off. Like that pipe on the back of the car. Once Natalie sold a trampoline to buy a big noisy exhaust for her Talon. I guess exhaustion can be like that. Noisy.

Mine crept up on me. Fatigue quietly spilled over. I couldn't wake up.  I had to. One foot in front of the other.  Duck your head.  Keep going.  Day. Night. Day. Night.  No sleep. My self talk: You can do hard things.
Don't think.  Don't give in to the tears that are always right on the edge.

I knew Tulum was right around the corner and I counted the days. Exhaustion, merciless dude that he is, hammered me with new worries and chaos all the way here.  Once on Mexican soil, in the car driving south to Tulum, I broke. I slept. And I slept.  No cell, no Internet, no moonlight. In the safe nest of my beloved sea song, I gave into weariness. I let go.

I don't have to do hard things right now. Just breathe.

Day 1.  I didn't get dressed. Walked down to the beach in my favorite black pants and even more favorite orange v-neck..  I should have known clothes wouldn't stop me.  I needed to be in it.  Soon I was over my head, riding waves, remembering. The sea encouraged me to cast every burden. I did. I curled my toes tight into the sand, tasted the salt and let La Mar wash completely over me. De-tox.  I left all the hard parts, scary replays, troublesome worries and grief in the deep blue.  I didn't realize I was crying until I started back to the shore. Now I can begin. 

Safe and Sound

Just got a text from Chuck + Cath that they are safely in Mexico. 

She wanted me to send out word that all is well.

She'll blog soon! 

Love, Lindsay